In the Pursuit of Balance

It’s amazing how we can become so busy being busy, not realizing how busy we have become.

I’ve been doing so much…life over the past few months has been a blur.  Now that everything is slowing down I realize that much of what I have done in those months really was unnecessary.  What a blow!

I understand NOW that the balance that I have been crying for was unachievable because I thought it was supposed to drop in my lap JUST because I decided that I wanted balance. All the while, I was living an unbalanced life expecting balanced results…

Things I have learnt on the pursuit of balance:

1.        “No.” is a sentence and it’s okay to use it.  Yes, it’s okay to say no. This is number one on my list because I was always a “Yes person” (you know those people that you can depend on to do ANYTHING for you at ANY TIME because they are ALWAYS ready to assist with WHATEVER you want done, need fixed, or have to have…) I always wanted to be liked and needed and saying yes to everybody made me the ‘IN girl’…in actually it leaves you tired OUT!!! You are so busy doing everything for everyone else that you neglect what you want and need to do.  You find yourself either rushing your list to help someone else complete theirs or you scratch your list altogether – no bueno. 

2.       Set aside “Me time”.  In order to balance you have to ensure that you have time for yourself…this can be tricky because you may find yourself thinking that in this time slotted for yourself you should be getting work done. NO. (Yes, it’s a sentence remember?)  “Me time” is time set aside to relax.  In actuality, the average busy person will tell you that they have no time for “Me time”. My response: Make time. We make time for everyone else. You can set time aside in your calendar all for yourself, just as you would for someone else if they called you . So if it’s a 30 minute breathing session or an hour at the spa – schedule it.  Do what must be done to ensure that you get that required time in.  Book it and lock it down – if someone calls and asks you to do something, pretend as if you are actually going to have to cancel on someone else if you are tempted to do so - think about how disappointed you would be if you had to call yourself and cancel on yourself…

 

3.       Get back to basics. Remember when you used to write lists back in high school to sort out your priorities and pending assignments for the upcoming days and weeks for school? Well those balancing skills should be reapplied – but instead of homework and projects, you are going to create a list that shows everything you do or need to do on a daily, weekly or monthly basis. Beside that list, you are going to write a list of your hobbies, activities you enjoy, and people you like to spend time with etc.  This list is going to show you that there are a few things that REALLY aren’t necessary but you do them anyway – you can remove them.  If they don’t benefit you, why keep them there? You are then going to pick items  from your ‘leisure list’  and substitute those things with who really matters to you and what you would REALLY like to be doing…

4.       Learn how to shut down.  Here is how a typical day started in my life (Yes, I’m embarrassed…but I will use myself as an example) Wake up. Check my phone.  Kiss my husband awake (If I haven’t already awakened him with the loud sigh I make in defiance that it’s morning already.) Check my phone. Brush my teeth (Check my phone while doing so.) Get ready for work (which is an amazing feat because I’m checking my phone with one hand), probably didn’t eat breakfast because I was checking my phone…and it goes on and on and on UNTIL one night I was on my phone, soothed by the glow of the light, catching up with the world, not realizing that my ‘5 minute check’ turned into, well, close to five hours. 

There have been countless studies and articles on the hazards of hand held devices and their detriment to our health, and it’s understandable why.  We as humans, have to constantly know what’s going on in the world.  It may not be your phone that is keeping you booted up, but whatever it is, learn how to shut down for meals, family time, personal time, etc.  Designate ‘offline times’ for yourself, ESPECIALLY at bedtime.

 If I’m not at work, my phone is shut off by 9pm, and my husband gives me an hour grace period which varies depending on our schedules for the week.  I use that time to wind down, complete/ respond to emails, and prepare/edit my schedule for the following day.   My phone turns on bright and early at 5:15am…and I’m working on it…

As I continue to enforce these rules in my life with hopes of making them positive habits, I constantly remind myself that this is for the best. Of course I would like to accept that last minute call from a friend who just realized that the initial plan to tie one thousand miniature bows in an evening is actually an accomplishment that cannot be encountered alone, or become the impromptu MC, or photographer, or face painter, or artist (pick an area…any area) for an event, or be dubbed ‘last resort baby sitter’ (all true stories, by the way) but sometimes you have to let people down so that you don’t let yourself down.

I learned that in totality, it is about respecting your time and your boundaries – if you don’t, no one else will. Seriously.

Oh..Almost forgot. You have to do this these days:

 DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and does not reflect those of your doctor, or whoever you take advice from that is certified to give you that advice.  I’m just personally speaking from life experience and what is working for me…

Hands up in surrender, heart full of expectation,

xoxo Jenna