In reflection...

Disclaimer: This entry may not make any sense.
I have been trying to sort out my emotions for a few days...I got some disheartening news and I simply couldn't function.  I didn't realize how deeply I was affected until I tried to edit photos, but couldn't.

Usually, photo editing keeps me focused, in this instance I could only lean on an old friend...one I consider my baby sister.  She is thousands of miles away but it felt like she was right here beside me holding my hand as we sifted through the bittersweet nostalgia of  what we could together.

Today, I spent about an hour at the beach.  It helped me clear my thoughts a bit, but there is still a dull ache. I'm trying to be as optimistic as possible, and I am grateful for people who have given me my space and time.   In my moment of clarity on the beach, I could only exhale breaths of thankfulness.  I didn't want to think of the uncertainty of a person's character.  I didn't want to wonder what others were possibly thinking, or where they are personally headed.  I wanted to get away from the headlines and the hearsay.

When I got back in, I drafted a simple email...and I honestly don't even remember what I wrote...but I felt better.  It's more than some people probably would have done.  I saw it written somewhere: "If you don't say something, the person who needs to hear it won't". And now...all I can do is wait...

I look back and  I realize that there is so much more to life than materialistic things - friendship, family, ministry...those are the most important things to me and I value them.  I am probably willing to put my life on the line for the relationships that I do have.

So, in this my moment of reflection, I guess I must come to the conclusion that this is life.  We can't live it for each other.  We can't live through each other. We must endure with each other's decisions and stand as firmly as we can.   And then I wonder if I have ever cried this much at the loss of life...no one has died, but it feels like I did a little because I expected so much more than this...

 I cried for someone's innocence.  I pray that it was not in vain.

Hands up in surrender , heart full of tears ,

xoxo Jenna

Sharing it with the World!!!

Just popping in to let the world know that I love my husband!!!! :-D  He is my everything and I love him more than air!  I know that I’m not the easiest person to get along with, but he loves me for me and appreciates who I am.  Who could ask for more?

 Happy Valentine’s Day to all of you that celebrate, and if you don’t?  “Carry on smartly” ;-) For years I was in that number of persons who didn’t celebrate for two main reasons: 1) It’s lost its real meaning and 2) It’s a married people thing. (which is it’s real meaning)

I love him so!!!!

 I strongly feel that Valentine’s Day has been overly commercialized – I feel so sorry for men who are pressured into taking whole paychecks to purchase scantily filled baskets to prove to women that they truly do love them.  I believe in tokens of affection, but I don’t think that the gaudiness wrapped in red and white is really important. 

We all know the story that Valentine’s Day is spun from, and I salute St. Valentine for restoring the sanctity of marriage in his era. The men and women who were wedded by him must have been a rare breed – circumstances were mounted against them, and they probably didn’t have the luxuries that we lavish upon ourselves in the celebration of marriage these days.

I believe that a person’s TRUE Valentine is their marriage partner – and so, every year, my husband and I go out of our way to put an extra bit of love in our day as we celebrate with others all over the world.

So, as I prepare for ministry this evening, I just wanted to pop in and tell you guys to enjoy your day.  We would normally make an extra special dinner and eat in, but we have been invited to the opening service of Grace Evangelical Ministry’s Women’s Conference and we get to bask in the love of the couples there as we fellowship.

Hands up in affection, heart full of possibilities,

xoxo Jenna

Bush Medicine: Cerasee

Believed to have medicinal properties, our traditions are steeped (pun intended) in the knowledge of bush medicines, and you have persons who would try their hand at cultural tinctures before seeking prescribed relief. 

 Years ago, the modern conveniences of doctors were non-existent –there were instances of practicing doctors who travelled through islands, spending anywhere from days to years in any given location.  The scarcity of doctors caused many Bahamians to learn and practice what we know as ‘bush medicine’.

In this day and time it is an honor to have relatives who are old enough to remember and recognize medicinal plants and their value to society. Some of the legacy has faded with time, while there are certain remedies that will never pass away – one of them is the usage of Cerasee.

Momordica Charantia (Bitter Melon) - Simply called "Cerasee" or “Bitters” (and pronounced by some

as ‘bittis’) it is a green vine that blooms with delicate yellow flowers. It can be found ‘running’ on fences and is defined by its bristly orange orbs (that hold fleshy red seeds) and its wide, flat five-fingered leaves.  

It can be used as greens, prepared for meals, and in some places, it is a well loved, chilled beverage! Here in The Bahamas, we experience Cerasee during cold and flu season even though it is known to  purify the blood, sooth skin, and stabilize blood sugar (among so many other things). We have been known to run in the opposite direction as children when we simply smelt the bitter warmth that emanated from kitchens - and some people would confess that they still do so!

The catch to Cerasee is the fact that you must drink it while it is still hot and  unsweetened – as a matter of fact, there is nothing that you can put into the mixture to ‘better’ the flavor. (We have been there and done that…all you can do is suck on a quartered orange piece and pretend that the bad taste in your mouth never happened).

This is what Cerasee Looks like when you are REALLY sick!

I know of friends who were made to drink this concoction every week…I considered that child abuse then, but now I am contemplating doing the same with the sidekick – collectively, he’s been out of school during this weird season for about two weeks now! I’m thinking of preparing it two ways from now on – ‘the emergency steep’ and the ‘day-to-day steep’.  The emergency steep is what I discussed here – boiling and drinking straight away (with maybe a squeeze of lime and a pinch of salt), but the day-to-day is simply placing the fresh vine in a cup of water and allowing it to ‘work itself out’ and, at the end of the day, you have a glass of Cerasee-infused water (something like that we should only need once per week).

I would suggest that before you seek to implement ‘bush medicines’ in your diet that you consult with  your physician -especially during pregnancy or if you are taking medication etc.

Hands up in reminiscence, heart full of accomplishment,

xoxo Jenna

Is it Over Yet?!

This week has been rough! (and I want you to know that I said that as dramatically as I can – and KNOW that I CAN get VERY dramatic!!!)

I was holding off on telling you guys about my weekend – I was savoring every moment, and I was being very selfish about it because it was all I had to carry me through this week :-(  But anyway….guilt trip aside…I thoroughly enjoyed my weekend! 

 I spent some time at the Kiwanis Club of Fort Montague’s ‘Jazz in the Gardens’ event.   Like I mentioned in a previous post (that I am too lazy to give a link to…I think it was last week Friday’s) I was asked to minister in spoken word.  The atmosphere was such a relaxed one and the patrons were receptive.

I have never met a more involved civic group – they truly go beyond their comfort zones to ensure that they make a positive impact on society.  Their theme: ‘Making a Difference by Being a Difference in a Child’s Life’ resonates with a maturity that we should all have with regard to our upcoming generation.  I feel that if we implement a ‘nurture over nature’ attitude in just one life, then we can impact a whole nation…simply imagine what can be done, when a civic group positively affects hundreds of school students, reaches out to young men and women that no one else wants to, and feeds spirits as well as stomachs?!

I salute the Kiwanis Club of Fort Montague for a job well done, and for showing me that they are truly ‘being the change’ that Ghandi has urged us all to be.

I then visited the ‘Total You Purpose Conference’, which was held at the British Colonial Hilton and was

blown away by the information that I received.  With speakers such as Dr. Wayne Thompson of Relationship Management, I left the conference with a second wind.

A positive change truly begins with a mindset change.  I walked away with a better understanding of relational ethics (Bahamians are in a league of their own when it comes to interaction!), financial stability, and personal responsibility.

I should have known it was all a set up! I shall reiterate that I had a beautiful weekend:  I managed to get a bit of rest, was able to refocus, do a bit of editing, and even had the opportunity to fellowship with two congregations PLUS even though I didn’t get to watch the Superbowl COMMERCIALS (Yes, I confess, it’s rare that I watch the actual game), I got some Superbowl FOOD!!! (I just want to take this moment to thank the daughters of Pastor Dixon for such incredible food!!!! I didn’t know that you could infuse seafood into scalloped potatoes like that!!!! I didn’t realize I was a foodie until I was introduced to Long Island cooking – I must visit you guys during one of these holidays! Pastor Dixon – I’m looking forward to all the seafood I can eat!!!!) 

Yes you guys! I had a beautiful weekend! It felt like a bit of the weekend trickled into Monday, but, it was MONDAY after all – what could you really expect? I was already disappointed that the weekend was over, the sidekick started exhibiting a bit of his symptoms…again, but I knew that we REALLY needed to get out of the house - so I went to visit one of my favorite aunties :-) (she was only here for a few days and we had a mini photo session, so I was excited!)  

 It felt so good to spend time with her and reminisce…and I honestly think that if it wasn’t for the time I spent with her and the encouragement, inspiration, and motivation that I received over the weekend I would have exploded by Tuesday when all the negative energy seemed to have magnetically pulled in my direction…but HEY! ‘Hello Monday’ is back! I got to watch the first episode of the new season on Tuesday (lol) and I got a little bit of added oomph to pull me through to Friday!!!! God is, indeed, awe-inspiring!

I’m so thankful because when I look back at the week, I realize that it has made me stronger.  He loved me enough to give me everything I needed to get through the week at the very beginning of it.  I will not pretend that I didn’t feel crushed or depressed, but I know for a fact that I was not destroyed!

So here I am, at the end of another week and a very long blog post (…lol) asking you to be grateful for the little things, and to smile as often as you can - even if it hurts.  I know for a fact that everything is going to be alright.  I survived!!!!

What’s happening next week? Well…I am visiting 'SPEAK!' on Monday with Pen & Tongue to minister in spoken word at their ‘season premiere’, and later on in the week, I spend Valentine’s Day and the remainder of the week at Grace Evangelical Ministries Women’s Conference (I’m ministering in spoken word there also)…I MAY be missing in action for a few days because HELLO, it IS Valentine’s week, and I’m married, and I feel that Valentine’s Day IS for married people (I never celebrated it before marriage...I may explain in a blog post a bit later this week…) But yeah…I’m looking forward to ‘shipping’ my son somewhere for a day or two and spending some REAL quality time with the hubby…Lord knows we haven’t had ‘Us Time’ in a long time….(yet another blog post that I must get to because for some awkward reason I love posting ALL of my business on a blog for the world to read!!! LOL)

…by the way! Shout out to Trinidad and Tobago!!! I see you!!! Thank you for reading my blog! I am honored that you visited! To my Caribbean Massive!!!! I love you guys! Shout outs to the U.S. of A also, for all the love that you have been sending my way! :-) I truly appreciate it! And dear Bahamas…thank you for opening my eyes to the possibilities of sharing OUR culture and my heart to the world.  I bleed aquamarine, gold, and black!

Enjoy your weekend!

Hands up in resilience, heart full of determination,

xoxo Jenna

A Bit of Encouragement...

We are basically at the end of January, and these past few days I have been reflecting on and assessing my goals from the previous years.  I realize that I came into the New Year with momentum that was charged with the anticipation of what these next few months have to offer. Because of this, I found myself unstable in thoughts, actions, and even speech (I was carrying myself too hard and expecting instantaneous results from my decisions, which sometimes even pulled me into a depression.)

If one thing didn’t work out, I would step away and try something else…I wasn’t  nurturing any gift to give them the chance to bloom…I was not even paying attention to the seasons – seasons which would have helped me realize what to work on and when.  I came to the conclusion that if this is how I feel at times, there must be someone else out there who probably succumbs to this frustration too and I wanted to encourage you.

1)      Success doesn’t happen overnight – it just looks that way because you never see what it takes to get there…in my opinion, success is the process and not the end result. If you are diligent enough to see your process through THAT is success.

2)      Sometimes you just have to keep your mouth shut.  Have you ever been so excited about a dream, vision, goal or idea that you just HAVE to tell someone? Sometimes it’s best if you don’t.  There are dream killers out there who will either try to persuade you put it off or let it go.  Which leads me to the next point:

3)      Surround yourself with diverse people. There is NO WAY that you should be with people who agree with EVERYTHING you say.  You need different points of view – and people who don’t mind playing devil’s advocate to help you see things you probably would have never seen  - these people brighten your horizon and help you to not be bias.  They aren’t the ones who blatantly say “NO.”, they are the ones who say: “Okay…so if you do this, then what happens when THIS happens?

4)      Believe in yourself. So many times people only believe what a person says about them.  We must believe that our thoughts and values are important to the most important person in our lives – us. This isn’t advocating vanity, but we must learn to appreciate, accept, and celebrate who we are…and trust that God made no mistakes when He created us.

5)      Dare to dream. I remember when I used to be afraid of dreaming big. I feared the fact that I didn’t have the finances, the charisma, the degrees etc. and then I realized that God didn’t call me because I was perfect – He called me because I was available.  So, I have written down EVERYTHING that I want to do in life, inclusive of business plans, mission trips, and family adventures because dreaming keeps you excited about life!

6)      Never give up.  You can take as many breaks as you want to.  You can catch your breath. You can even take time to gather your thoughts and calibrate your next step, but don’t you EVER give up. You cannot afford to fail, and if it doesn’t work out, try again. Don’t ever give up on yourself, your dreams, or your goals. 

Hands up in concord, heart full of well-being,

xoxo Jenna