Remembering Rambo...

 This past weekend our dog died :-( Missing him already...I don't think it's ever easy to explain the void you feel after the loss of a pet...

I remember when my brother-in-law first got him, we did not think he was going to survive because he was so young...we accepted the challenge of weaning him (his mother had died) and I left round the clock instructions for my husband (boyfriend at the time) and his brothers.

I can remember laughing at them when they had sleepless nights - not because he was sick or anything, but because Rambo felt that the best time to play was between the hours  of 2am-6am :-)  The boys always sounded like they were taking care of an actual baby...and they truly took care of him...

I could never recount all of the stories of loyalty... Rambo walked with us and protected us from danger, escorted our vehicles out of the corner, and happily greeted us when we arrived at the house.   He had this funny way of assisting you to open the car door, and I honestly think that his tail wagged him and not vice-versa.

He was such a humble dog who made friends with all of the other animals that came through the household - that included rabbits, cats, and other dogs.  He was never violent unless he felt that the family was threatened.  He was so intelligent!

I am grateful that we had the opportunity to have him, and I will miss his quirky ways.  I don't know when we are going to get another dog, but I do know that no one can replace him.

Reflections on Ash Wednesday

I had planned to write an entry all about what I intend to give up for Lent and maybe some elaborate scheme to how I will get there.  I then wanted to add some background information that explained the significance of Ash Wednesday (which is today) and the personal value that this opportunity to repent, mourn and reflect on human morality.  I was then to end with the something nice that would probably cause you to reflect and consider the positive elements that lent could apply to your life...

I woke up this morning, reflective.  In renewing my mind through prayer and meditating on scripture I realized that a Christian's life is one that should always bear a mark of repentance.  There are so many thoughts, ideas, and actions that we process  (even in the the error of omission) that we MUST repent of our shortcomings - we can chalk it all up to flesh, or accept the fact that we were in fact, conceived in sin.

In this moment, our church family is mourning the loss of a matriarch, my immediate family is at the end of a grieving process, and now beginning to accept loss in a completely different area.  There are so many tears to shed even though so many have been dried - and it is now that we truly grasp the concept of human frailty...it reminds us that we have become so comfortable in our temporary space.

I mentioned in an earlier post that we are in the process of relocating.  I think that I am experiencing my personal Ash Wednesday in that place...just as they use the ashes from the previous Palm Sunday's palm fronds, I reflect on the process that has brought us to where we are now - last year, situations that brought us into a season of praise ended in agony; just as Christ was praised as He traveled through the streets of Jerusalem and tortured on His cross, we ourselves experienced a personal Golgotha.  It baffles me when I think of how quickly things changed, and I am grateful to know that no matter the situation, Christ Himself teaches us that beauty is exchanged for ashes.

 In reflection, I am thankful for the opportunity we were afforded to be in the environment we were in.  I didn't realize that I would learn so much from the people around me (even though we keep to ourselves) I have seen beauty in the most impoverished places, and I have experienced the wishful fantasies and dreams that swirl about your head in striving for better.  I have seen people who have created personal famines as well as those who are an oasis of wisdom, beckoning for others to drink.

It all seems so surreal and it cements the realization that this life is fragile...each wail of the mothers whose cry touched the heavens when their son's lifeless bodies hit the streets, each bullet that shattered the eventual silence, each shout of laughter from the children who are robed in innocence, each joyful triumph - everything happened in those streets! And the people there showed me their resilience - I think that that is what I was sent there to learn.  That resilience - the defiant stand that they take.  One that proves life and the actuality of living it.

I walk away with those sentiments even though there were times when we did not know what was going to happen next.  This Ash Wednesday I remember that I am dust, and I shall return to dust.  I remember to continue to treat everyone with respect.  I remember that I can be in a position of power today and can find myself a pauper tomorrow...I also remember that I can be poor in spirit today, and in hope I can be spiritually enriched.  I repent, and place myself before God's altar, a living sacrifice - understanding that I may crawl off said altar, but humble enough to understand that the altar is my rightful place and I must present myself blameless before Him.

This Ash Wednesday, I prepare myself for 40 days of  personal and spiritual reflection and penitence.  A few of those days will be spent cleaning up and clearing out of our present location - boxing up, putting aside, sorting out, giving away...I don't take the moving process lightly - it causes you to analyze and process the meaningful and unimportant.

I sit back to evaluate what I have personally gained and lost, and the persons, places, items, things that I should let go of or keep...

P.S. If you don't know what Ash Wednesday / Lent is all about, then watch this video by 'Busted Halo' from YouTube...it gives you a better idea ;-) (yeah, you're welcome)

Hands up in release, heart full of expectation,
xoxo Jenna

Just popping in!

Hey you guys!  I have been M.I.A. for a few weeks...I don't even know where to begin!

I have so much to blog about, and not enough time. I have been adjusting and preparing myself in ministry etc. and have had the opportunity to meet with so many different people from all walks of life.  As I write this, my family and I are preparing to relocate and there are so many details to sort out.

At the moment we are processing death, the capacities of marriage, new life, transitioning, ministry...the ups and downs of life...I am so thankful for the husband that I have.  His support has been immensely positive and stregthening.

I just wanted to pop in and say 'hey!' sooooo: "HEY!!!!!" :-)

I'm looking forward to sharing my past few weeks with you, I'm just asking that you bear with me as I get situated.

See you guys again VERY soon - there is SO MUCH that I want to share with you guys!!!!

Hands up in gratefulness, heart full of anticipation,
xoxo Jenna

Birthday Shout It / Publishing Opportunity / Event Planning

Happy Birthday Gueli!!!! Another year older, another year wiser! My prayer is that God continues to strengthen and keep you as you mature in grace! I can still remember the day you were born! We called the nurses desk at your hospital so often that she was adopted into our family! We waited almost 24 hours for you – and it was well worth it! :-) Enjoy your day hun!

I’m starting to feel really old these days…LOL!

…

Last week a friend in a spoken word forum brought a book prospect to our attention that I would like to share with you. 

Firstly, the deadline is May 14th ( I want to put that out there FIRST because I hate when I come across an interesting opportunity and pump myself up to enter, then see that the deadline is loooong gone…sigh) and it’s all about showcasing artisans.

Entitled “Hurricanes: The Anthology”, this project requests entries in poetry, short stories, paintings, sculptures, etc.  I was contemplating the possibility of sending some of my work in, and if you are interested, maybe you should do the same.

I’m not going to write too much about it because there is a lot of information on the website that you are going to have to read through.

…

We are ten weeks into 2014 and I’m working on a proposal for a family event.  I’m hoping that I can stay focused today…it IS Wednesday, and I’m pushing through the week with expectations of a positive review. 

We are two days away from the weekend! :-D (That statement gave someone life just now) We can do it!  Blessings to you and yours! And thanks once again for joining me on this journey!

Hands up in confidence, heart full of ambition,

xoxo Jenna

In reflection...

Disclaimer: This entry may not make any sense.
I have been trying to sort out my emotions for a few days...I got some disheartening news and I simply couldn't function.  I didn't realize how deeply I was affected until I tried to edit photos, but couldn't.

Usually, photo editing keeps me focused, in this instance I could only lean on an old friend...one I consider my baby sister.  She is thousands of miles away but it felt like she was right here beside me holding my hand as we sifted through the bittersweet nostalgia of  what we could together.

Today, I spent about an hour at the beach.  It helped me clear my thoughts a bit, but there is still a dull ache. I'm trying to be as optimistic as possible, and I am grateful for people who have given me my space and time.   In my moment of clarity on the beach, I could only exhale breaths of thankfulness.  I didn't want to think of the uncertainty of a person's character.  I didn't want to wonder what others were possibly thinking, or where they are personally headed.  I wanted to get away from the headlines and the hearsay.

When I got back in, I drafted a simple email...and I honestly don't even remember what I wrote...but I felt better.  It's more than some people probably would have done.  I saw it written somewhere: "If you don't say something, the person who needs to hear it won't". And now...all I can do is wait...

I look back and  I realize that there is so much more to life than materialistic things - friendship, family, ministry...those are the most important things to me and I value them.  I am probably willing to put my life on the line for the relationships that I do have.

So, in this my moment of reflection, I guess I must come to the conclusion that this is life.  We can't live it for each other.  We can't live through each other. We must endure with each other's decisions and stand as firmly as we can.   And then I wonder if I have ever cried this much at the loss of life...no one has died, but it feels like I did a little because I expected so much more than this...

 I cried for someone's innocence.  I pray that it was not in vain.

Hands up in surrender , heart full of tears ,

xoxo Jenna

Sharing it with the World!!!

Just popping in to let the world know that I love my husband!!!! :-D  He is my everything and I love him more than air!  I know that I’m not the easiest person to get along with, but he loves me for me and appreciates who I am.  Who could ask for more?

 Happy Valentine’s Day to all of you that celebrate, and if you don’t?  “Carry on smartly” ;-) For years I was in that number of persons who didn’t celebrate for two main reasons: 1) It’s lost its real meaning and 2) It’s a married people thing. (which is it’s real meaning)

I love him so!!!!

 I strongly feel that Valentine’s Day has been overly commercialized – I feel so sorry for men who are pressured into taking whole paychecks to purchase scantily filled baskets to prove to women that they truly do love them.  I believe in tokens of affection, but I don’t think that the gaudiness wrapped in red and white is really important. 

We all know the story that Valentine’s Day is spun from, and I salute St. Valentine for restoring the sanctity of marriage in his era. The men and women who were wedded by him must have been a rare breed – circumstances were mounted against them, and they probably didn’t have the luxuries that we lavish upon ourselves in the celebration of marriage these days.

I believe that a person’s TRUE Valentine is their marriage partner – and so, every year, my husband and I go out of our way to put an extra bit of love in our day as we celebrate with others all over the world.

So, as I prepare for ministry this evening, I just wanted to pop in and tell you guys to enjoy your day.  We would normally make an extra special dinner and eat in, but we have been invited to the opening service of Grace Evangelical Ministry’s Women’s Conference and we get to bask in the love of the couples there as we fellowship.

Hands up in affection, heart full of possibilities,

xoxo Jenna

All Hail the Queen (Conch)!!!!

One word: Conch (pronounced Konk…and we use that word in another context too… “to violently hit a person…preferably in the head eg. “Watch me ‘konk’ you” or “Watch out before that coconut ‘konks’ you!”) But SERIOUSLY….let’s talk CONCH…

"Shells on the Wharf" J. Christina Photography (c)2014

Maybe it’s because I’ve been craving this mollusk (YES! A really huge TASTY snail) for at least a week now…I have changed its presentation in my head from cracked (beaten, floured and fried), to frittered (placed in a batter and fried….something similar to hush puppies), to scorched (scored and seasoned with herbs and orange juice etc…maybe raw…maybe grilled…sigh)…and then I’ve really been thinking of a conch salad (raw and cut into manageable pieces with lemon juice, orange juice and  herbs like onion, sweet pepper, celery etc.) Yeah…I’m leaning more toward the salad because I can FINALLY try the tropical conch salad that is all the rage these days.  

Atropical conch salad would be prepared normally, but fruits such as strawberries and pineapples are added…this variation on the salad is a skill that has been honed by another family island and is becoming a big hit here…a hit that I haven’t tried yet.  And I’m not feeling pressured in any way, I think I’m a bit old school, and it isn’t just with my food…

• ·         Am I the only one who gets peeved when they realize that the Microsoft Word program now starts you up in the Calibri font? I’m a Times New Roman type gal…and I feel weird writing in a different font…

• ·         Do you think I’m going to be one of those older people who INSIST on calling establishments by their previous names? Eg. Telecoms (pronounced Telecalms by my grandparents) ---> BaTelCo (our generation) ---> BTC(…the sidekick must be the only person who calls it BTC in our home)…well I call it BTC when something goes wrong (does that count?)…they have this slogan that goes “BTC dun done it again” (BTC has done it again!) and it’s supposed to be a GOOD thing, (especially when they are mentioning how they have upgraded a cell phone package etc.)

See what I mean?!  (Let’s get back on topic though…)

I’m craving conch…

Known as an aphrodisiac for generations, the Strombus Gigas (Queen Conch), a simple, one-toed delicacy (sounds weird huh? LOL…but it has one nail that it uses to slowly pull itself across the ocean floor as it eats) is a staple in our diet and can be prepared in countless ways (I cannot complain).

So until I actually get it, in ‘some way, shape, or form’ I will dream about the many tantalizing ways I can prepare it, and OF COURSE nag my husband as subtly as I can until he craves it too (I think I will teach you guys how to do that in my next blog post, so stay tuned!) Ha!

Hands up in enthusiasm , heart full of schemes,

xoxo Jenna